5 Fears Of Being A Father

My day-to-day activities don’t revolve around fear, but I am aware of the fragile nature of life.  I maintain a healthy respect for life and all the dangers that lurk around us everyday.  When I became a father, my responsibilities changed more than I could have ever imagined.  And with that responsibility came a great sense of accomplishment and pride. What scares me the most are things that can take that away.

Loss Of A Child

To this day, nothing in this world scares me more than the thought of losing one of my daughters.  I could not imagine living in a world without the amazing spirit’s of my daughters. They make my days brighter in every way imaginable. Without them, my world would have no inspiration, love or sunshine.  Everyday I am thankful because I am undeserving of such  beautiful and healthy daughter’s. I know there are many parents and children out there that are not so lucky. They battle life and loss to a degree that I can’t imagine and for that, they are much stronger than me. My heart goes out to any parent that has had to suffer the loss of a child.

Loss Of My Wife

Next to losing one of my children, losing my wife is one of my biggest fears. I never questioned my ability to raise my daughters alone, but losing my wife, their mother, would be devastating.  It would have affected the way I would be as a man and as a father. I feel very strongly about kids being raised in a house with a mom and a dad and my wife provides so much balance in my life and in my daughter’s life.  I couldn’t bear to see my children grow up without their mother. I couldn’t bear to see my grand children grow up without their grandmother.

Loss Of Interaction

There is nothing more magical in this world than being part of a child’s world and helping them grow up. When I was with one of my daughter’s and she was figuring out something for the first time or just having a good time, I would be beside myself with happiness. It became such a part of my daily routine that I couldn’t imagine not being there as she grows up.  Can you imagine never seeing your children open another Christmas present? learn to ride a bike? ace a test? graduate high school? get married?  I know some loss is inevitable as kids grow older and my role as father will change over time. Everyday when I dropped off my daughter’s at school I couldn’t help but think “What if I lose all this?”

Loss Of Love

I want my daughter’s to call me 20 years from now and still love their dad that same way they do now — Okay, they don’t love me as much as they love their mom but I don’t want to give them a reason not to love me.  My heart melts every time one of my daughter’s give me a hug or when they ask me to help them with something. I never want to lose that! I never want to give them a reason to never need or love their dad. I think this is another thing that dads have to work on.  Just like we do with our wives, we need to build our relationships with our children. We need to learn what they love, learn their fears and learn their dreams.

Loss Of My Self

People change…we all change. I don’t expect to be the exact same person 20 years from now as I am today. What scares me is the thought of loosing my sense of responsibility as a father to my daughter’s. If I lose my self then who will they turn to in times of need and hardship?  I don’t want to become apathetic about being a father. I never want to give up trying to become a better father for my daughter’s.

I’m not sure WHY you might give up trying to be a father – but that’s what scares me.

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I Love You, I like Sunny Days

I recently had a discussion with 2 co-workers about love. They were talking about the love they have for their spouses. The problem I had was how they described their love. Nowadays we attach the word LOVE to everything, I love pizza, I love animals, I love sleeping in, I love sunny days, I love…and the list goes on. I like those things, I don’t LOVE them. And love shouldn’t be directed to what someone does for you. If that was the case I would be love with the cook at Captain Joe’s, because that guy can cook a steak just the way I LIKE it. My co-workers said they loved their spouses because “she always makes me coffee in the morning, she makes the greatest chili, she irons my clothes, ” etc. My wife does all those things too, and I like that she does that for me, but I don’t love her for doing those things. My love for her is much more. My love for her is measured by the degree of my sacrifice for her. When you deeply love someone, you’ll do a lot of difficult, challenging, or painful things for him or her that you would never do for anyone else. Love means going out of your way to be a servant. Try as I might, I may never love as much as my wife does, for she sacrifices so much of herself for me, her daughters, the two other men in her life (her son in-laws), her grandson, and her family. The funny thing is, is that she doesn’t know she sacrifices anything, all she knows is that she loves us. Now, more then any other time, we need to teach our children what to like, and how to love.

1 Corinthians 13 4-8
Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails;

I love you Lincoln, Puppa

Nana and Lincoln, two great loves of my life